Friendship and Loyalty

Today I would like to write about something totally different. I would like to talk about my dog. Now for those of you who know me and Reenie, you know I can talk about her ad nauseaum. But something happened on New Year's Day that got me thinking and it still is very much on my mind. First - a bit about Reenie - she is almost the perfect pet - almost but for one quirk -she is an Alpha Dog, a pure alpha. This means that she wants to dominate every dog she meets and while she has never hurt another dog, it is terrible to watch her growl and snarl and try to dominate that dog. For the first few years of her life, I thought I would have to give her away because I couldn't hold her and she is stronger than I; she weighs over ninety pounds. But then I started working with Monique Anstee, dog trainer par excellence, and after a few years, Reenie will now sit quietly at the side of the road and let other dogs pass without lunging, growling or otherwise disgracing herself. This took many years of training and Monique was more than patient with us, but now, I feel confident going out with my dog. The only negative is that I cannot let her loose with any other dogs, and I have always felt very badly that she could not have doggie friends. She loves humans, and would rather be with humans anyway, but still, I always felt sad that she couldn't have other dog friends to play with.

About a year and a half ago, I built a suite in part of my house and rented it out to Sarah and Shaun and their beautiful ten year old white lab, Ned. At first I was terrified that Reenie would try to dominate Ned, but Sarah and Shaun reassured me things would be okay and that Ned had lived with an alpha dog before. And sure enough, Reenie and Ned became friends. For the year that they lived here, almost every day the two dogs walked together in the woods, shoulder to shoulder, then would play in the back yard, running circles around each other. He was the only dog she has ever allowed in our house; in fact, they would watch movies together. We would take them to the beach because Ned is a retriever and loves to retrieve balls from the ocean. But he is also blind in one eye. Sarah would throw the ball out into the water, and Ned would swim around desperately trying to find it. Reenie would watch all this from the shore, take a deep sigh, swim over to the ball, take it over to Ned, spit it out in front of his mouth, and swim back while Ned had the pleasure of bringing the ball back to Sarah. This happened many times. Reenie does not normally deign to do dog things, like retrieving. But she would do anything for Ned.

Almost six months ago, they bought a house and moved out. For a little while, Shaun would bring Ned over to walk with Reenie, but life happened for all of us, and we hadn't seen them for quite a while now. On New Year's Day I was walking in the woods with Reenie when all of a sudden, she stopped. Her ears went up, she stood still. I could tell there were people on the other side of the ridge, but her reaction was very different than usual. All of a sudden, with a yip, she leaped over a hill, totally ignoring any paths, and ran as fast as she could to greet Ned. They had come for a New Years visit and finding us out assumed correctly we were walking in the woods. The two dogs ran circles around each other, and jumped and played - I hadn't seen such incredibly joyful exuberance exhibited by humans or four-leggeds in a very long time. We came back to my house, and Shaun went to put Ned in the car. Reenie would not come into the house until she heard the car door slam and knew Ned was inside the car. Then she came into the house, hopped up on her chair, and put her head on the top of the chair woefully eyeing the car in which Ned rested. It was so clear to me that she loved him so much and wanted to be with him every second. The friendship and loyalty between the two animals was palpable.

Later that evening, I got an email from a woman with whom I attended kindergarten and school through high school, and then briefly we worked at the same hospital in Calgary, and I saw her briefly again not long ago at a reunion, but we have not really stayed in touch. Now I have known this woman for almost sixty years now. And yet even though there are decades of our lives we do not know about, I still felt a deep sense of kinship with her, and I know I would certainly trust her. There are people I see every day, yet I wouldn't trust them or feel as much of a friend to them as I do with this woman whom I haven't heard from for decades. Friendship and loyalty. I think once it exists, it stays. Time does not become an issue. It is interesting how these feelings develop. I don't think we can will them into being for a particular relationship. I think they just are. Or are not. And when they are, it is a true gift, one to be valued highly. My dog taught me to look at the friendship and loyalty I experience with other people and certainly Reenie and Ned are the gold standard of love and trust and friendship and loyalty. I hope I can live up to their standard and be as good a being as my dog.